Risen Motherhood: Biblical Body Image: The Root of Our Dissatisfaction
As an image-bearer, and a woman, I have been created by God to reflect his glory. He designed my body beautifully, and it glorifies him.
But often, I don’t feel glorious. I feel frumpy, tired, and stretched out. It’s undeniable that motherhood takes a toll on a woman’s body—no matter how much I try to bounce back. I look at pictures and get self-conscious: What will other moms think of me?
According to the National Institutes for Health, 69-84 percent of American women exhibit body dissatisfaction.[1] This presents a serious problem within a culture that continues to promote completely unrealistic expectations of female physique. In one sense, if this many women experience “body disaffection,” then we need to collectively change our expectations, affirm each other more, and celebrate our sizes. And some are now pushing back against the cover model expectation. Mommy websites and apps have started depicting realistic moms as empowered and strong. Women are told to be proud of their “mommy tummy” and wear it as a badge of honor.
But as helpful as this body positivity may be, at the end of the day, it still leaves me feeling empty.
That’s because both “body disaffection” and “body positivity” center on me—my appearance and how I stack up against other women. I might feel better for a little while after looking at other stretched-out stomachs—especially if I deem them “worse” than mine. But when I compare myself to another super fit-looking mom at church, suddenly, I feel frumpy again.
Although unrealistic expectations of beauty are part of the problem, they aren’t the main root of my body image issues. When I really stop to evaluate my heart, I’m often anxious about my size because I want to be one of the “pretty moms.” Often, the root of my dissatisfaction is actually a sinful desire to win glory for myself—rather than a desire to bring glory to God and serve my neighbor.[2]
In a sense, I want to “ascend.” This has been mankind’s temptation since Eve first grasped the forbidden fruit and the builders at Babel tried to reach into the sky. We all crave status and admiration, first planted into our hearts by the Father of Lies himself. When Satan opposed God, he said, “I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God, I will set my throne on high.”[3]
But Jesus, the King of glory, “descended” to free us from our captivity to sin and give us the gift of life.[4] Jesus, who is the very form of God “did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped” but took the form of a servant. One who is lowly, beneath others.[5]
When I am feeling insecure and ugly, it’s important to ask why. Do I have a warped view of beauty and sexuality? Probably in part! But it may be helpful to probe a little deeper: if everyone was equally beautiful and I wasn’t a “stand out,” would I be content? Or do I desire to be one of the “pretty ones?”
Although my body was made gloriously, it wasn’t chiefly designed to bring me glory. The path of self-glorification always leads to emptiness and destruction because ultimate glory belongs to the Creator and to the Creator alone.[6]
So, as a Christian mom, the primary question isn’t if my body meets cultural beauty standards or my own ideals. Instead of, “Do I like the way that I look?” I want to focus on, “Am I using my body to the glory of God?”[7] Is my body a trophy for my own glory? Or is it a vessel for God's use?
Seeing my body as a vessel for God’s use should inspire me to treat it with care and kindness. When I eat well and exercise, I am better equipped to love and serve my family and my Christian community. For me, choosing to get up early to go on a run can be a loving and wise decision! When I am physically and mentally healthier, I can bear my own burdens and the burdens of others more effectively.[8]
When I dress beautifully and modestly, that can be a way to bring glory to my Creator—who has made women to be beautiful and lovely. (Just consider all the references to the church being adorned as a bride.)[9]
When my body swells to accommodate a baby and I begin to feel like I have the biggest bump in the room, I can remember that God is using my body to bring a baby into the world! A baby who will testify to the masterful work of the Creator.[10] And I can marvel that the Creator chose to create this dear little one through my weak and limited vessel.
My body is a beautiful, glorious, and amazing thing. But it was made to bring glory to God, not me. Let us love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and love our neighbor as ourselves, free of the need to “ascend” through physical appearance.